Please wait … shutting down

Huh. Life is funny. I wrote this amazing (my words) post and only the headline was saved.

I am 2 hours away from posting ‘rabbit, rabbit’ on my children’s and close friends FB or text. Years ago, my baby girls told me that the first words out of our mouth on the first day of the month must be ‘rabbit, rabbit’. And then we will have good luck.

So, before I go further, “RABBIT, RABBIT” for the believers.

Through the years, before this comfy internet, I placed calls, yelled ‘rabbit, rabbit’ to my children at 12:01 AM, and now send texts. Rabbit, rabbit. May we all be well.

But, today, the last day of the month, I tried to send a message and it said, “Please wait. Shutting down.”

And I waited. And while I waited I realized that it was me who was shutting down.

I live less for today and more in yesterday. I missed Christmas last year, and assume I will miss more.

I cannot go beyond my porches. I live in a coccoon and I know I will not be a butterfly. As I watch my geraniums wane on my lovely front porch, knowing I could give them water to sustain them a little while more, I know I won’t.

I won’t leave this house. I won’t visit my family. I won’t …

Papa, I’m shutting down. Please wait. V