There are many reasons – both pro and con – for why US citizens want the right to bear arms. I know at least one group who should not. Mothers.

Today at the 5th or 6th doctor appointment (shared with my 2 daughters, alternately) we were in one of those waiting rooms with no ‘elevator music’ and no matter how you tried to whisper, it echoed conversations.

She asked me how the other appointments had been. I whispered “Can you believe I am gaining weight?!!! on top of everything?” And she replied, loudly:

“Mom, there’s no way you weigh 193! Why that’s nearly 200 lbs!”

For the record, I was unarmed and I do NOT weigh 193 … in case you were sitting next to me at the neurosurgeons.

Peace, Vicki

A dear, dear friend of mine, Sr. Rose Pacatte (affectionately dubbed “The Movie Nun” for her movie reviews on the Hallmark Channel and other printed sites, announced today that her sister has been diagnosed with stage 4 Thyroid Cancer, and will have radiation March 1 and 2.

I have laughed at their Facebook goings on as they helped their sister and family during her recuperation, like Emilie (the one mentioned above) washed her sister’s cell phone and glasses; and how Rose made out like a bandit “it was as if the dryer had become a slot machine!!” with all the coins it produced. Clearly these lovely ladies also nuns had not done family laundry! But the cat was saved.

She is asking for prayers, as we all do. You, my FTD family should know that their entire order has been praying for us. To learn about them follow this link: http://www.daughtersofstpaul.com/Founders/MotherTheclaMerlo/tabid/115/Default.aspx

But the link I wanted to share from that site is this one. You don’t even have to be Christian, just believe in something greater than yourself to appreciate this moment of peace:

“We made a mistake. You are perfectly well. Take these pills, and go on with all the dreams of your life.”

I’m no different. Today I meet with my dementia (FTD/Picks) specialist and all last night I dreamt that good news would be waiting.

But I would take ANY news, anything about this disease. Does the trembling mean I’m at a certain stage? or the verbal decline? And if it does, does it mean it’s progressing or just a ‘come and go’ symptom like so many are? And most of all, how long will I have any quality of life?

That’s the hardest for me, not knowing, no path, no hint of what the day will be like. Will I be up to dressing, or will it be a stay in bed all day kind of day.

Those of you who lost loved ones, please, please tell us what the last year or years was like. We need your stories, you are our hope.

And to all of you, my prayers and my love,

Vicki

I find I have a pattern. When a new symptom appears, I retreat. To chew upon it, to fume, to worry, to pray and work my way to acceptance. And many times, the symptom disappears as mysteriously as it came. Also it’s hard to know if speech patterns change if you live alone – which means, to me, needing to call people, ask them to visit.

What has become pronounced is more Parkinson-like symptoms. All of a sudden my neck will feel weak, and the head bobbing occurs. Or the trembling in my hands increases (noticed it at Christmas, trying to write notes to my children and grandchildren) or trying to eat and slopping food on various parts of my face or clothing.

What set me back this past week was the stutter/lag of speech on the phone to a stranger. Since I live alone, it’s reasonable to expect it has only been noticed by those with me longer than 10 minutes. But having it happen on a short call scared the heck out of me!

I had major spinal/nerve surgery in August and that is interfering with symptoms. But when my neck became weak, while waiting in the doctor’s office and I couldn’t stop it from shaking, then my shoulder … I knew it was something new.

And it exhausts me. I cannot imagine what those with Parkinson’s go through with their motor skills working non-stop! I’ve slept at least 4 hrs each day just with a wobbly head. or those with 24/7 Dystonia. Or those with ALS who cannot move at all. It’s then I thank God for the symptom that assures me I can still move.

Pray for all of us, but a prayer this week as I see what I call my “Dementia Team”. I’m sorry I retreated for awhile, but I had to run through all the gamut of feelings that each change brings out in me.

We can make others know about us, and our children and grands may not have to travel this path. And, so I pray…

Love, Vicki