Seasons Change

I have a sense – and I hope I am wrong – that there are more sunsets than sun rises coming my way.

I might be very wrong, and I hope I am.

The last two weeks have been difficult to speak. No, very difficult. Climbing my daughter’s steps was impossible and I sat 1/2 way up, and still could not make my breath and my body coordinate to get me up the stairs.

And I got into her new apartment, and as we went thru the tour to the boy’s room, I said I had to lie down for awhile. And rudely, I collapsed on Sammy’s bed, Bep bringing me a cover, and fell asleep.

Trying to speak today, I was without words. Beanni’s trainer came and she took it over, bless her heart, because I could not speak. At least what seemed to be English…

My daughter came shortly after, and I still could not put words into my mouth. Just garbling and jabbering and… weeping.

And a phone call, that I was comfortable with, and I had to leave. Because I could not speak.

Papa? is this the beginning of my end? It’s ok if it is, I’d just like to know because my kids have a garage to dissemble.

I have this sense – may I be wrong – that my end days are close. I cannot tell you why, it’s just a feeling in my fingers.

Pap, Josh and Sofia – are we ready? I love you all, V

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    • freda on September 5, 2012 at 8:36 am
    • Reply

    If you think you might have an infection of any kind V, that can affect FTD symptoms too.
    I guess my garage could rival yours in needing clearing out!(eventually!)
    {{{{{{{{{{{{ Vicki }}}}}}}}}}}} There is still a vital purpose for you, in sharing these experiences online so candidly and movingly.

  1. For God has prepared a place for you and such a wonderful place it shall be for a wonderful lady. Please, know my family is also waiting to see you. I pray for you Vickie more than I have ever prayed for anyone. Not quite sure what I am praying for but it is for your peace and well being. Do you remember in 4th grade when we played army and we were always, always doing KP? Such wonderful loving memories, your kids births, my dad and mom babysitting Beth when she was little. Take care my very special friend, take care, let your kids help, they need that too. Love

    • Fran on September 15, 2012 at 8:13 pm
    • Reply

    Please know that I am praying for you and do not give up! Thelma and Louise are fighters!

  2. My mom has FTD. I often wonder what she is thinking, as she does not seem to comprehend most of what we say and she cannot communicate clearly. My heart breaks reading your blog, but I appreciate your courage in sharing your journey.

    • freda on December 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm
    • Reply

    I wish you all you wish yourself for the New YEar! xoxoxo

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